I believe the most important reason I prefer Polyamory is that I don’t need to lie to myself and I don’t need to lie to others.
In the past, specially during my first marriage, I felt all the guilt of wanting to be with other women and lying to my wife, while other times being faithful to her but not satisfied with my own lifestyle. All my friends, except one, have cheated on their wives, or are doing it now, or are about to do it soon.
I also don’t like to lie to a woman, tell her that I will be monogamous with her, when in my heart I believe that is not likely to last, and definitely not something that I think is the best.
While I fully accept that I’m not a good prospect for a long term monogamous relationship, I’m honest and straightforward about what I want out of my relationships and I’m not trying to deceive anyone to believe otherwise.
I would hazard a guess that my way of doing things is easier and makes for far fewer potentially hurt feelings and misunderstandings, as I’m not changing the rules in the middle of the game. I make it quite clear at the beginning of each new relationship that no matter how I may come to feel for them, that monogamy is not likely to ever become a permanent part of our relationship. If they feel they can’t handle that, they have the chance to walk away then, before hurt feelings develop.
