What makes relationships more intense and rewarding?

Education! It’s definitely about what we know. I can say that I only reached the point where I am now and surrounded myself with smart, sexy, wonderful and exciting people because I learned some much from my past relationships and from people that had more experience and took the time to tell me what worked for them.

More educated and more mature people are capable to appreciate the nuances and details of the world around them better than others.

Knowledge is power.

It seems you can’t order oysters at a restaurant without someone saying “Oysters are aphrodisiacs! What are you up to today?” or some similar moronic comment. No, oysters are not aphrodisiacs, they are just another overpriced mollusk that happens to taste controversial.

There are three real aphrodisiacs.

Know them because if one of them doesn’t do it, one of the other two will.

The first one is wealth, the potential or willingness to add value to one’s reality. That value can come in the form of material wealth (money, gifts), power (connections, influence), or life style (fun, pleasure).

The second is curiosity. If you excite one’s curiosity enough you will generate enough attraction to bring the person towards you. Attraction can be the starting point to begin a relationship or even get to sex. But you need something more to bring the person to a much deeper level of intimacy and curiosity is the most straightforward  way to get to it.

The third one is dominance. Most women respond very well to true, positive dominance. If you ask them they will usually say otherwise, because they have been trained by society to say otherwise, but don’t pay attention to what they say: Look at what they do.

“When he evades domestication, he also flees the constraints that seem to go hand in hand with marriage. He reminds wistful husbands, ensnarled in the claims of wives, children, and creditors, that the Latin root of ‘libertine’ is libertus - a freed slave”

From The Libertine on the Prowl: http://libertine346.vox.com/profile/

I took some time thinking about it as I knew I was taking an important decision in life. I knew that I had come to the cross-roads in my life and I would have to choose a path. Whichever the path I knew I would be losing something.

I know that during my life I will get to know women that I will admire and desire, and love, but will never have. At least won’t have in any lasting meaningful way because they want different things.

Take a decision early. Poliamory is not something you can snap in and out of quickly. It is a lifestyle that takes time building and takes energy maintaining. It will also filter the number of people that could possibly get involved with you to less than half of the general population. Furthermore, polyamorous relationships are more fluid and people tend to come in and get out of it in a fluid and dynamic way in a state of constant renewal.

So if a woman you really like will not agree to enter, or will not stay long in a polyamorous relationship, don’t be surprised or upset. Make her your friend, and be sure that there will be someone else just as great down your path.

Some people assume that every woman wants or should want nothing else but a long term monogamous relationship. While this is indeed true for most women, it’s not true of all women, as some women aren’t cut out for that type of relationship any more than some men are.

I believe the most important reason I prefer Polyamory is that I don’t need to lie to myself and I don’t need to lie to others.

In the past, specially during my first marriage, I felt all the guilt of wanting to be with other women and lying to my wife, while other times being faithful to her but not satisfied with my own lifestyle. All my friends, except one, have cheated on their wives, or are doing it now, or are about to do it soon.

I also don’t like to lie to a woman, tell her that I will be monogamous with her, when in my heart I believe that is not likely to last, and definitely not something that I think is the best.

While I fully accept that I’m not a good prospect for a long term monogamous relationship, I’m honest and straightforward about what I want out of my relationships and I’m not trying to deceive anyone to believe otherwise.

I would hazard a guess that my way of doing things is easier and makes for far fewer potentially hurt feelings and misunderstandings, as I’m not changing the rules in the middle of the game. I make it quite clear at the beginning of each new relationship that no matter how I may come to feel for them, that monogamy is not likely to ever become a permanent part of our relationship. If they feel they can’t handle that, they have the chance to walk away then, before hurt feelings develop.

As a matter of definition, the term mLTR stands for Multiple Long Term Relationships, and it refers to a situation where you have several women as LTR’s and each of them knows you are seeing other women. They are OK with it either because the situation caters to some vicarious bisexuality on the part of the women, or because they see you as enough of a prize that they are willing to go along with the arrangement just to be with you.