What is the difference between finding them and having them find you?

It’s a world of difference. By making myself exposed online and approachable that way I filter possible contacts. It saves me a whole lot of work because I tell on my web sites and on-line profiles what I am looking for and how I am. This way the people that would like to see me will get in touch, and the ones that don’t like something will just move on.

The more unique and specialized your interests are the more difficult it is to find other people with the very same interests among the general population. The Internet is the resource that allows people from any place and any combination of interests to find each other to collaborate.

You can stay home waiting for strangers to stop by and introduce themselves to you. The more you tell the world who you are and what you want, the more the world will give it to you.

You need to set up the field to practice.

If you want to learn how to approach or interact with women for example you must set up situations, or go to places, or join clubs where you will be interacting with women. Ideally do so in a way that you can interact without an obvious agenda, so speed dating and other dating situations are out. I don’t like clubs for that either.

Training is a great environment:

If you live at or near the beach join some massage classes. Those are usually months-long courses full of interesting women that you will be interacting with, and massaging, for extended periods of time. If not that find some other courses populated mostly by women in your city.

Be the recruiter:

Find something you need help for. Or perhaps a friend is looking for someone to hire. Maybe you are about to hire a new secretary, or you would like to find an event organizer to put together your next birthday party, or you want to hire someone to take care of your pets while you travel. Find something real and congruent with your real life. Because if a really good candidate comes in you want to give her a real job! Then post hiring ads and you do the interviews. You will be talking to dozens, or hundreds or women and every time you post a new ad you will be learning to narrow down the selection process more efficiently, and the interaction is really great.

Get a hobby:

Get yourself a hobby that attracts the type of women you want to have around. I like very attractive women that are sexually liberated and a bit (sometimes more than a bit) on the kinky side. So I became a photographer. For less than it would cost me a dozen of expensive dinners in blind dates, I got professional photography equipment including lights, professional camera, books on how to do it, and props. Sometimes I advertise (for free) looking for models and in doing so I have found a few pretty interesting women that I dated or had fun with. But the most interesting is that it created another way to interact with women that I have met for any other reason. I have photographed my friends and their friends, and learned a lot about how to interact, direct, and entertain women using photography as the context. The results are magic!

Promote your own parties:

You don’t need to be on the guest list at your own parties. You don’t need to drive home. You can talk to everyone. The bouncers and the promoters and the hot chicks, everyone will be nice to you, rather than you having to supplicate to them. It is a perfect comfortable scenario where your game, any game, will be much more effective and will yield great results.

First of all read their books, listen to their CDs and podcasts, watch their seminars. In many cases you will find out that is enough for you. If you still feel that you should talk to them in person have a clear idea of what is it that you want to find out and send them an email, find out their phone number, and ask! It’s surprising how often it works because one of the reasons they are successful is exactly because they are possible to approach and willing to teach, if you are really willing to learn.

It doesn’t really matter, as long as you are congruent.

NLP still works even if the person knows NLP and knows you are using it.

Humans don’t have any natural defense that stops NLP from working on them. NLP was specific designed to go around human’s resistance and defenses.

When you start using it in daily life you start feeling the difference in the responses you get and your own level of self confidence. It ‘s subjective to some point, but easy to notice.

The book Introducing NLP, by Joseph O’Connor & John Seymour is a very good place to start. I also learned some of it from Marshall Sylver, Joel Bauer, Anthony Robbins, and others.

With Joshua I learned that NLP is fine during approach and during seduction, but when you are building rapport with someone that is a better time to drop your guard and also drop your guns. It seems rapport building is the time to connect heart to heart and and be vulnerable, time for utmost sincerity.

NLP brings efficiency to interpersonal communication. You can get your ideas through a lot faster and more efficiently. You can rapidly and easily establish a connection with others. Increase communication effectiveness by developing your ability to see, hear, and respond to subtle cues given by others. You can build motivation in yourself and others. Access states of mind or emotion that will be the most useful to you in any given situation. Be more confident and creative in conversations, presentations, and relationships (business or personal). You can also program positive behaviors, self-confidence, and thoughts directly in to your future.

Use NLP anytime you want to attract, persuade or seduce faster.

You can convince someone to do anything. You can also convince everyone to something. But I can’t believe that you can convince everyone to do anything.

But with enough time and planning you can convince nearly anyone to do nearly anything. However timing becomes a factor here.

That is part of filtering: You have to evaluate how much effort it will take to approach, build rapport, and then persuade someone. Some cases are easier than others and a good filtering process will help you find out what are the fruits hanging lower on the tree, and you go for those. Life is short, and we can’t waste time convincing everyone while all you need is find the one person that is already convinced.

When you establish enough rapport people react favorably to your approaches, to seduction, or to persuasion. If they are not being accepting and inviting yet that means you are not quite there yet.

The other evident way to know is by your emotional connection. Rapport is a two way road. They will like you, but you will like them too. You know they trust you partly because you trust them. You know they like you because you like them.