Interesting question posted on FetLife.com:
A lot of people talk about training a sub or a slave..
But can you train a Dom?
For instance.. Scenario One; A pretty little sub girl meets a vanilla whom she falls in love with, Describes her lifestyle to the vanilla who professes to find it connects with him and wants to dominate her, Therefore can she then proceed to “train her dom”
Scenario two; Sub meets a Dom, Finds he is not fulfilling her needs, Of course there is constant communication in a relationship ( I expect) Then Can the sub train her Dom to suit her needs, Like a Dom would train his Sub?
Some say this is a violation, and if A sub does this she is trying to “top from the bottom” Which I find ridiculous personally.
Why do I never see many attempting to train their Doms?, Somehow I doubt they perfectly meet every need from the bat.
My answer:
It is possible, but I will not say it is easy.
If he is already an ALHPA MALE and mature and emotionally balanced then the task will be quite easy because he will know how to project his strong personality and values while at the same time paying attention to what works for his sub and for him. A real alpha man that is mature well developed is open to learn and will find that it is easy to fit the role of Dom comfortably. It will be quite a pleasurable journey for both.
However, if he is not an alpha male already, or not mature and well developed, or not emotionally balanced, this can be as hard as trying to teach a horse to deal cards.
Developing a “regular pussyfied american male” and turning him into an alpha male is work for serious and dedicated training programs and schools, and it usually costs thousands of dollars. Just like rehab, analysis, or deep behavior modification, it can rarely be accomplished by amateurs.
Being a good sub doesn’t mean you can be a good teacher.
Tags: Domination
A big part of being a Dom is listening and observing. The reaction I get from her when I apply my touch dictates (at least in part) the intensity level of my ministrations. Based on the information I have about her and what we are hoping to accomplish over the longer term, I will vary my approach, the techniques I will use, and the scenes I design. I like to have her write for me on a regular basis so that I may coax out her fantasies and inhibitions and better understand her needs.
Most Doms I know enjoy being just that, sexually dominant. We learn to tie knots and make shackles and equipment. We share stories of mindfucks and the expressions on the faces of our angels. We watch each other and discuss the nuances of sexually tormenting our hot little sluts, sometimes while they sit at out feet. Good Doms watch and learn, and undrstand the needs of their precious subs often before the subbies know themselves. That is part of the job.