Archive for the ‘Rapport’ Category

One Night Stands vs Ideal Timing

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

timing21Typically when a man is going to a bar or a club looking for a woman, his ultimate goal is sex. He’s looking for a one night stand, which also means he’s in a hurry. As with anything done in a hurry, this rarely works out well for him.

Consequently, much of the gaming technology is targeted at this man. While gaming schools of thought don’t always directly promote a one night stand, they are all about attracting women, creating trust and seducing. Many men take this information and apply it in the quest for a one night stand.

Even after applying this technology, the rate of success for this method is very low.  Making sex your main goal in relationships is similar to making money your main goal in business. You will almost never get it. The main goal in business should be excellence, and money comes as a consequence of that excellence. Similarly, if the main goal in relationships is excellence, sex will be one of the natural results.

I developed my online game much more, much earlier, than my social skills. I even became an expert in the techniques used to meet someone in person after you initially met online. This is considered a warm approach (As opposed to a cold approach in a club: talking to someone you have never met before, usually intoxicated and in a loud environment. Clearly a much more difficult method.) When meeting someone you’ve met online, you’ve spent some amount of time getting to know them, so you enter into the interaction with some level of trust and a more elaborate context.

Of all of my relationships online in the last few years, most developed over time. It never took more than six months, and was usually within the two weeks to two months range. I’ve observed that in some cases, when meeting someone you met online, you might have sex the same day, but it’s very rare. Sometimes it might be the second or third meeting, and other times it could be weeks or months later.

Another important factor about meeting people online is simply that you can have a lot of relationships online at the same time. There’s generally a minor time requirement when emailing back and forth occasionally. It’s similar to owning a farm and growing several different crops, you can harvest them at different times throughout the year, but there’s always something growing.

I propose that instead of seeking one night stands, it’s better to develop ideal timing. Instead of running an agenda based on your own interests, figure out how much time will she take to develop the proper amount of trust and security, learn to read her emotional states correctly and define the timing based on her, not on you? This method has a much greater rate of success  than basing your agenda on yourself and your need for instant gratification.

Why not use NLP to build rapport faster?

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

With Joshua I learned that NLP is fine during approach and during seduction, but when you are building rapport with someone that is a better time to drop your guard but also drop your guns. It seems rapport building is the time to connect heart to heart and and be a friend first, time for utmost sincerity. I agree with it and have been using less NLP and relaxing more during that phase.

When I can’t have what I want

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009

You can convince someone to do anything. You can also convince everyone to something. But I can’t believe that you can convince everyone to do anything.

But with enough time and planning you can convince nearly anyone to do nearly anything. However timing become a factor here.

That is part of qualification: You have to evaluate how much effort it will take to approach, build rapport, and then persuade someone. Some cases are easier than others and a good qualification process will help you found out what are the fruits hanging lower on the tree, and you go for those. Life is short, can’t waste time convincing everyone while all you need is find the one person that is already almost there.

How do you know you have rapport

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

When you establish enough rapport people react favorably to your approaches, to seduction, or to persuasion. If they are not being accepting and inviting yet that means you are not quite there yet.

Rapport for better relationships

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

The ability to create rapport is the ability to create a harmonious relationship based on mutual trust or emotional ties. It is the art of making someone feel comfortable and accepted. It is friendship and camaraderie; it is a special bond or kinship.

Nothing has more impact in your general happiness and satisfaction in life than the quality of the relationships you keep, and that quality is a direct result of correct qualification and strong rapport.

This is not about how to control, manipulate or force others to submit to your will. Books that promise that type of adolescent fantasy just don’t work. Any method in which one person loses so another can win will not resist the test of time. Such theories go against the way we live, think and act, and don’t take into consideration what we have to offer.

The importance of rapport

Saturday, January 31st, 2009

The way I live and love requires a lot of trust. When was the last time you put your safety in the hands of someone else? When was the last time you did it while at the most fragile moments when you are loving, with your guard down, totally vulnerable?

I never have to demand ritual behavior by a woman. She responds to me out the want of pleasing me. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment. I understand the fragile nature of mind and body, and never violate the trust given to me.

I am always open to communication and discussion, always ready to hear her wants and needs. I am patient, taking the time to learn her limits, and knowing that as her trust of me grows, so will the intensity of our relationship.

Where I learned about rapport

Friday, January 30th, 2009

Most of what I have been using during the last few years came from books in general about relationships and sales techniques that I have read all my life, and more recently from the teachings of Marshall Sylver, Style, Joshua, and others.

I know what has been more appropriate for me, but can’t guess what would be the best combination for someone else without talking to the person and learning about his/her priorities and interests. I suggest extensive research on the Internet before spending any money with any system.