The quality of our lives depends directly on the quality of our communication. Communication with others as well as the communication with ourselves. There are some words that are very important in our communication which we should pay a lot attention.
You will not use these words by accident. You only use them by design, with a purpose in mind. Take control of these words and your communication will improve substantially:
Try
The word try suggests failure or insincerity. Say that you will try to do something is not the same as saying you will do something. If you say that you will try something and you end up failing, you can always say “at least I tried!”
Get rid of this word! And when someone tells you they will try to do what you want, you can practically know that it will not happen. For example: If a friend says that he will try to send you a report that you need on Monday, you can overcome this lack of definition – “I know that you are really busy and that Monday may not be possible. Can we set-up for you to deliver this report on Tuesday, for sure?” – Once you surround the person and obtain the commitment by having him switch “try” for “for sure” the chances you will see the result are much higher.
Replace the word “try” for “for sure” in your conversations and in other peoples’.
Wrong: I will try to call you back today.
Right: I will most definitely call you back today.
Wrong: I will try to get an A on my next exam.
Right: I will get an A on my next exam for sure.
Using the words “for sure” makes you commit, and does not let space for any doubt.
I can’t
Another set of words to take out of your vocabulary are the words “I can’t”. Because this always means one of two things: “I don’t know how” or “I don’t want to”.
If I say “I can’t” to myself I immediately ask if I do not know how to do it or if I don’t want to make any effort to do it. If it is the first case I certainly try to learn, and if it is the second I abandon the idea and don’t feel guilt about it.
Remove these words from your conversation and when someone tells you that, find out if this person doesn’t know how to do what she is asked, and in this case you can help by teaching her, or if she doesn’t want to do it you can may to convince her to do it or find someone else who will.
But
This word has a hidden meaning that you need to avoid. It means a negative. When someone uses the word “but” you can eliminate whatever comes before it in the phrase. For example, if someone says:
I like to be with you, but I do not have time to be here frequently.
The truth is:
I do not have time to be here frequently.
When someone says:
I want to be rich, but building wealth takes a lot of work.
What was actually said was:
Building wealth takes a lot of work.
In each place you use the word “but” you could use “and” and your attitude would be profoundly changed:
I like to be with you and I do not have time to come here frequently.
I want to be rich and building wealth takes a lot of work.
Hope
This verb shows indecision, and should be replaced by “know”. Look:
Undecided: I hope to finish this project until the end of the year.
Decided: I know I’ll finish this project until the end of the year.
Undecided: I hope to take all the right decisions.
Decided: I know I will take all the right decisions.
If
This word always shows lack of decision and could be replaced by “when”. The progress is dramatic. See how it changes:
Weak:
If I sell this product…
If I show you how this works…
You will be satisfied if you go on a dinner date with me…
You will make a lot of money if you give me this opportunity…
Now determined:
When I sell this product…
When I show you how this works…
You will be pleased when you go on a dinner date with me…
You will make a lot of money when you give me this opportunity…
Problem
That is something that happens backwards. First I learned a lot of “stuff”: Techniques, methods, solutions and protocols. I thought I was very skillful, but the most important was still missing. As I met women that were more experienced, more advanced, and more sensual than I ever seen before, that opened my eyes to a very simple fact: What makes you an “expert” is not your resources and devices and methods, but your capacity to connect to women emotionally. Being capable to feel them, learn from them, but most of all love them deeply, is what makes you a man they want to be with. And we know that love is the only binding that truly holds.