Posts Tagged ‘Patience’

One Night Stands vs Ideal Timing

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

timing21Typically when a man is going to a bar or a club looking for a woman, his ultimate goal is sex. He’s looking for a one night stand, which also means he’s in a hurry. As with anything done in a hurry, this rarely works out well for him.

Consequently, much of the gaming technology is targeted at this man. While gaming schools of thought don’t always directly promote a one night stand, they are all about attracting women, creating trust and seducing. Many men take this information and apply it in the quest for a one night stand.

Even after applying this technology, the rate of success for this method is very low.  Making sex your main goal in relationships is similar to making money your main goal in business. You will almost never get it. The main goal in business should be excellence, and money comes as a consequence of that excellence. Similarly, if the main goal in relationships is excellence, sex will be one of the natural results.

I developed my online game much more, much earlier, than my social skills. I even became an expert in the techniques used to meet someone in person after you initially met online. This is considered a warm approach (As opposed to a cold approach in a club: talking to someone you have never met before, usually intoxicated and in a loud environment. Clearly a much more difficult method.) When meeting someone you’ve met online, you’ve spent some amount of time getting to know them, so you enter into the interaction with some level of trust and a more elaborate context.

Of all of my relationships online in the last few years, most developed over time. It never took more than six months, and was usually within the two weeks to two months range. I’ve observed that in some cases, when meeting someone you met online, you might have sex the same day, but it’s very rare. Sometimes it might be the second or third meeting, and other times it could be weeks or months later.

Another important factor about meeting people online is simply that you can have a lot of relationships online at the same time. There’s generally a minor time requirement when emailing back and forth occasionally. It’s similar to owning a farm and growing several different crops, you can harvest them at different times throughout the year, but there’s always something growing.

I propose that instead of seeking one night stands, it’s better to develop ideal timing. Instead of running an agenda based on your own interests, figure out how much time will she take to develop the proper amount of trust and security, learn to read her emotional states correctly and define the timing based on her, not on you? This method has a much greater rate of success  than basing your agenda on yourself and your need for instant gratification.

Roxanne – 2: Cat hair, and the virtue of patience

Friday, January 16th, 2009

We met for a cup of coffee or drinks two or three times. The third time or right after that I called and was going to pick her up after work. This time I went on my motorcycle. When she was on the bike and ready to go I remembered to say “You can hold anywhere you want… except on the bike.”

Took her to a beautiful ride across the country side Northwest of Boston, then to a Mexican restaurant where we had some margaritas, then to my house.

I didn’t know at the time that she is allergic to cat hair and when she got to my place she didn’t feel well after a few minutes there. Even though the house was very clean and the cat was not around us it was still enough for her to feel her allergy bothering her. At this point we were already kissing and teasing each other quite a bit and interrupting was not a pleasant thought, but I thought “patience pays” and offered to take her home.

The next day I picked her up again and promised to take her to a place where there would be no cat hair and her allergy wouldn’t bother. To her surprise I drove us back to my house! However this time the cat was locked in the garage, I vacuum cleaned the entire house, bought an air cleaner, used sprays and changed all the linens, all pillow covers, and even the curtains have been scrubbed. The house was spotless.

This time nothing stopped us from having a really great time.

Some day later she told me that when she felt bad the first time and I offered to take her home, and didn’t show disappointment, or more important, didn’t pressure her into staying like many guys would do, she felt really good about that. She saw I knew what I wanted and I didn’t hide it from her, but at the same time she saw I was not in a hurry and would not act like a neanderthal.

Patience pays.

Helen – 2: Patience pays

Friday, January 9th, 2009

We were spending three days together. She was staying at a hotel in the city but we were together all day. We had fun, went out every day for great meals and back to my place for fabulous conversations. I paid close attention to my body language and escalated kino very well.

However, the first night when I began turning the interaction clearly sexual, holding her hair and touching the back of her head, she was uncomfortable and I stepped back. She gave me an explanation of why she was still not at ease, trusting me in many ways definitely, but not wanting to escalate it into a sexual situation. The explanation was much longer than necessary and that suggested to me that she was divided. I reacted cool and with good humor and later took her back to her hotel.

I thought “Patience pays. Tomorrow I can develop more trust and tease her even more, and we will cross that line.”

The second night was similar. We watched movies, took sexy photographs, she licked ice cream out of my fingers in tremendously sexy ways. But still, it was sexy and hot but when it reached the point that I was really kissing her she resisted again. We had a very nice conversation about her concerns and what made her hesitate. I had in my mind what DeAngelo says about attraction not being a choice and thought again that ”Patience pays. Tomorrow I can develop more trust and tease her even more, and we will cross that line.”

The third and last day I though I should use some leverage. A very strong dose of social proof was in order. I set up a dinner with her, Roxanne and Amanda, at a very nice lounge in one of the best hotels in Boston. I calculated that she and Roxanne would like each other immediately and I was right. Amanda being there would not hurt either. After a few drinks and some conversation they were best friends. One hour later the three girls were french kissing each other, and another half hour later they were going together to the bathroom. Every time they came back Helen would kiss me and tell that the peculiar taste in her mouth was the other girl’s pussy juices. I knew that was going in the right direction…

Driving back to her hotel, again she gave me the same excuses why she wouldn’t go back to my place while I was slightly rubbing my finger against the fabric of her panties (she had a dress that night) and she was horny as hell. I thought of what I learned from Kat Williams in his comedy presentations “Sometimes you have to fuck what she says, just pay attention at what she does” so I teased her even more. A minute later she unbuckled her seat belt, told me to pay attention to the road, and began giving me one of the best road heads I ever got.

We got to her hotel, she was taking her clothes off on the way between the reception and her room. She invited me in and we got comfortable. Then again, after she danced for me a little bit and I took a quick shower because I felt I was sweaty and I don’t like it, she seemed to lose momentum and once more the very same objections and doubts came back. This time I thought of Mistery and what he says about last minute resistance and I told her it was all right and didn’t make a big deal out of it. She slept in my arms.

I woke up first and we were spooning, she was comfortably sleeping with her head in my arm. I brought my free hand under the covers and just placed it over her breast. She was waking up. I gently kissed the back of her neck and behind her ear sometimes while I played lightly with her nipple. As she began making very light noises and reacting positively to it I escalated my touches, finding how she reacted to each way I played with her nipples.

Playing with her breasts moved to kissing her belly, to removing her panties, and I began eating her out. I used everything I know and very soon she was moaning very loud, grabbing my hair, pinching her own nipples, and damn near decapitating me with those strong legs she uses to run marathons sometimes.

I made sure she had a very strong, mind boggling orgasm. She couldn’t think clearly after that. She couldn’t put her clothes back on right after that. I had to drive her to the airport.

Arriving at the airport she gave me a long, sweet, tender kiss and thanked me for everything, specially for what happened in the morning, and promised to come back to me and Roxanne.

Patience pays.